It's funny how lack of inspiration would be the only way for me to start blogging here again. So it seems like blogging is my last resort and desperate attempt to find some sense of fulfillment somehow. Nearing the big 3-0 and the idealistic 20-year old me would probably be disappointed to see where I am now -- still figuring what I really want to do with my life.
They say that you gotta find your passion but when passion cannot pay the bills, you gotta suck it up like a 9-5 day job. What hit me was my boss saying, "This is exciting for you!". Is it really? Of course, I did not say that. I guess he was so excited for the new stuff at work that he thought I felt the same. If a lame thumbs-up emoticon in Skype chat was the epitome of exciting, yes I was filled with glee.
I know my boss just means well, and this is my attempt at an it's-not-you-it's-me line.. but really, I can't seem to find the drive to work. And even searching in Google for "how to be motivated at work" is just plain sad.
I read an article in 99u.com talking about lack of motivation and how you don't have to fight it by trying to find inspiration. The search for motivation part actually stresses you out the most and would take so much of your time that you fail to get any work done. In the article, the answer to lack of motivation is to just do what you have to do instead of stressing over loss of inspiration or drive. Gretchen Rubin in her book, the Happiness Project, also believes that the way to stay positive is to "Act the way you want to feel". All these sound simple enough but the doing part is quite an effort. But then again, there are duties to fill and roles to play. It's either you quit or keep pushing. Right now, quitting just isn't an option so I carry on painstakingly.
Hoping for better days ahead. This is probably not a great a way to welcome the new year but I give myself a pat on the back, anyway, for at least having the energy to post something here even if it is clearly an attempt in finding a sense of accomplishment.
Yet another post that saved my life. Thanks to the "Elders of the Internet"!
